The cold wind blew around Josh, slowly put surely the winter was coming back. He didn’t seem to mind, on the contrary, he seemed to be enjoying the cold breeze on his face. Standing and waiting in the headlights of his car. He was waiting for that one sign, the sign that he should go through with it. It became more than a habit, he became an addict. He’s parked outside of her door, the lights are on and he knows she never locks it. Josh is just ten steps away from her and him. The familiar Nokia ringtone rings through the hollow November air. It’s Zac, all his friends are prepared for the inevitable collapse of Josh. He decides to let it ring for a while, another sound in the dark to keep him company.
“Josh, where are you? I hope you’re not…”
“You know where I am. You know what I’m going to do.”
“Dude, you know you need to get out of this funk”
“How? Go out and get drunk? Spread my misery around?”
“You’re going to end up killing someone over her”
“I’d never run him over, you know, I wouldn’t want to dent my head. I wouldn’t kill anyone. I just need the pain to end.”
“Get over her, you don’t need redemption. You need to clear your mind…”
Josh hung up on Zac. Even though they were brothers, he didn’t need him right now. He needed his thoughts. She’d betrayed him when he needed her most. But she didn’t care about him anymore; he did though, he still wanted her warmth. Everyone could tell, he’d never been the same since he found out. Zac was trying to call him again. But Josh had already gotten into the car. He’d go talk to Zac face to face; he was the only one who could understand Josh. Everyone else just told him to get over it, Jessie was just bad for him, bringing him down and not letting him live his life to the fullest. But love was what Josh was after and he got it in the bucket loads.
The wind was picking up, an autumn storm to fit in with Josh’s mood. Quite poetic, honestly, but it went all over his head. He was too busy trying not to do the unthinkable and screw up his life forever. He was speeding down the road, no one would be out at 4 AM, especially at the gas station where he’d told Zac he’d be. And sure enough, there was Zac, sitting by the picnic tables only illuminated by the cigarette embers; smoke was forming a makeshift tornado in the wind. Another scene worthy of a photograph, but Josh couldn’t think about that now, he had visions of him and her flowing through his brain like a river flows through a valley.
“Josh! Thank Christ, I’d thought you’d done something stupid.”
“Not yet. You know how I feel right?”
“Not very good, I presume? Sit down, let’s talk about it. After all, I know some things about you that no one should know, what harm could a few more embarrassing things do?”
Josh sighed, he loved his brother, but he had a habit of acting immature at times.
“You know, I want to kill him right?”
“Who wouldn’t, Josh? He was a catalyst in the break-up? He ruined the main thing driving your life.”
“It sounds like you’re egging me on, Zac. Like you’re trying to make me do it.”
“No, I’m not. What I’m saying is, we all lose something big in our lives. You lost Jess; I lost my opportunity in the music business. But you know what? You just need to dance, just dance. Dance through life. It’s simple, you lose something big, and you find something else to live for. Just keep moving.”
“I guess, you’re right.”
“Who are you kidding, Josh? I’m always right! Look, let’s see if the next big thing in your life is a microwave burrito. If it’s not, we’ll keep looking. I’m here for you.”
The two brothers made quite a scene in the cold autumn night. The lighting was perfect, the scene filled with emotion. Josh finally realized this. He’d found his next big thing.
