This is a message from your heart, your most devoted body part.

Yes, as you can probably tell I am becoming addicting to Kina Grannis’ music.
She posts a new song everyday, so why can’t I be? She has a great voice and she’s pretty good at the guitar thing.

Otherwise for the last day, I’ve slept and dreamt. My dreams are a weird thing to explain. They usually involve things I wish could happen. None of them otherworldly, just realistic things.

Right now though, I am in the process of cleaning the little hut. There’s somethings on the floor and a vacuuming couldn’t hurt. I can’t see why people say my clean is messy.
I got a little fm thing for my ipod, so I can finally play my music loud in good condition. Speaking of presents, I got a 6 pack of beer from the Leavy’s. Shows what kind of family I have on the English side.

So, here I am cleaning, listening to Kina Grannis, drinking a bit and talking to myself. I kind of sound like a male version of Bridget Jones. Except, I don’t drink wine and I don’t have Hugh Grant after me. I wish. Heh.

I haven’t been the one to be followed, nor am I the follower. I am merely the observant. That is how I see myself. I retract myself and form my own opinion.
I have never been the one to get into fights. I have my moments of indiscretion, some people bring that out in me. I have anger issues at times, I even have emotion issues. Yet, no one seems to know. They believe I am calm and centered. Somehow, I compare myself to Alfie. He keeps saying “I’m Alfie, I’m fine, always am.” Yet on the inside, he knows he’s not. So I have been born with this. This is my little fault.

Doesn’t really matter does it? Second chances never matter, people never truly change. Its just a matter of time before it all falls down.

So there’s my little day post.

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The Emote disagrees with everything he agrees on. Yet things get done.

Happy Holidays, you bastard.

Well, its been an eventful few days.
To start, Freddie and I filmed a Vaiping concert. Which was pretty entertaining. The best thing was the walk home. We tried to walk home from Folken. We did, of course. Then when we came to Siddishallen, I found a bike. So Freddie hopped on behind me. Then 5 minutes after he found a bike. So we biked home, on prestolen bikes. Hehe.

It was fun.

Then today, I had to go to Sigurd’s family’s holiday celebration. It was boring to say the least. But, I did drink a bit. So, I met this fellow. Who turns out was cool to hang out with. We were both slightly buzzed so I walked with him into town. Just to find a good coca-cola. So we did, talking all the way.

Otherwise, it has been pretty boring. Though on New Years, me and my life partner, Freddie, have a hotel room for ourselves. So thats going to be a party.

So, enough of this and right to the.

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The emote is on holidays.

Do you really wanna be a part of it?

So as I promised. I’m going to review my year.

Well, as always I have to mention Angie as the most of my year was a highlight with her. Sure, there were problems, there are always problems. But, still I’d rate the trip to Ft. Lauderdale and the X-Mas ‘06 was one of the best times of my life. There was one major low in May. And it was one of them moments where I accept death. I was ready to die. I was robbed. Held at gunpoint. By excuse my french, a twat who was willing to kill for atleast 15 dollars. I mean it, it was the worst night of my life. I have never been so scared that I didn’t even feel scared at all. It was degrading enough for me to be in my underwear but to be tied up with clothes and blindfolded and told if I move in the next 30 minutes. He’d kill me. I can honestly say that I saw before me blood splatters. Well, looking back at it, it gives me the sense that it is one of life’s experiences and it was meant to happen for some reason unknown. From there came my summer, fraught with pointless arguments and random fun. It was the high before the low. It went lower once we came to England. There were fights every night. Basically, the sign of the end. It wasn’t working out there. I guess 12 months of just us finally got on her nerves. I mean, I had no trouble having her around, I’m not that picky. But she seemed to keep wanting her way. I am content in the way I was at the time. Then, she left to the DR. And that was the end honestly.
That is the technical end, not the talks that we had on webcam. That was just not letting go. And Angie, why do half my friends think I am a jerk? I’ve heard somethings that aren’t entirely true. Someone should hear my side. But, still. I couldn’t do anymore than I already was. I loved her. I honestly did. Life moves on and cheesy as it sounds, it is a fact of life.

To be fair to the personal side of the blog. I do talk to myself about things out loud. So, yesterday, I came to the conclusion that I feel old. I have lived so much that I do not feel 18. I feel more like I am waiting for death. I have lived a full life. Yet, at the same time, I have not peaked. If I have peaked, then what a life I’ve lived. But I am a pessimist at times when I speak to myself.

So to steal a line from Paramore. “For a pessimist, I’m pretty optimistic”

Well, it wasn’t much to look forward too honestly. If you know me, I’ll elaborate on all of this in later posts. Its just what I do.

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So keeping with the theme of today’s post. Here’s one of the songs that sums up my year.

Some say its Matt Damon that’s hiding behind the Emote.

As your lies crumble down, a new life she has.

Well, Christmas draw closer, I feel like it isn’t coming this year. I have no feeling of Spirit of X-Mas. I couldn’t care less honestly. I just am in the mood for a little holiday. To relax and live a bit.

In other news, I can finally film and convert videos. So you’d better expect some new things. More of Freddie’s Job Song and such. Such a joyous occasion, eh?

Well, I’ll get started with a segment.

crush (x3) film reviews.

Then She Found Me
8/10. Helen Hunt’s directorial debut, I must admit, she does a very good job throughout the film. The shots are consistent, everyone of them telling a story. Along with her acting in the film, it truly is a good film.

Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj
3/10. Nowhere near as well made as the first movie. It does show some morals as all teen movies actually do. I would actually recommend steering away from this. Maybe watch some old American Pie or even Beerfest. Both are better than this one.

Wedding Daze
8/10. Jason Biggs, who stars in American Pie, is excellent in his role in this film. This isn’t a teen movie per say, but it is more like a Romantic Comedy. I loved it as I do with these kind of films. But this one is actually quite original. I suggest you take a peek at it.

Dead Poets Society
10/10. This film earns a top rating and a spot in my heart. It is the epitome of teaching movies. Robin Williams does well in his role providing the exact amount of comedy and genius to make it perfect. The story bodes well with people with inspiring teachers and those without. It kind of makes you wish, you had a teacher like this.

Well, not many movies this week. But still enough. So tomorrow is the day where I will review my year. I will honestly sit down and write as long as it takes.
Just for you.

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Some say it is on highly valued stamps in Sweden and some say it’s breath smells like Magnesium. But all we know is it’s called Emote.

Wow he is rough on you. He is elephant-making-love-to-a-cat rough on you.

So, today, I met my dad for the first time in 2 months. It was fun, ate chinese, talked a bit, the usual really.

Then, in other things, I have been around the children for a while now. Its fun to see what kind of parents they have. Most of the bullying kids have big builder men and the crying ones have single mothers.

Hey, I guess that puts me in the crying part. But, I’ve been told I wasn’t.

I think my blog will never be daily. I feel like blogging at times, and some days I do not.

Well, Michael Scofield had his send off last night. We gave him a traditional viking burial, some singing and a couple of words. Well, I have to admit I was kind of sad. But still, an era ends and an era begins.

Right now I am editing some photoshop things. Just for the hell of it. I am really feeling the temptation of having a vacation in this last week. Knowing now there’s only 3 days left before the X-Mas holidays.

I have to admit that I have no Christmas spirit this year. It feels like there’s no difference between the summmer vacations and this special time of year. But that is me, I have grown tired of the wanting of presents. I had nothing on my list.

Now, I have posted yet another blog without real content. So I think I’ll give you something to look forward to. On Friday, I will review my whole year. Not step by step, day by day, but my honest and truthful feelings of the last year.

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Some say it only knows two facts about ducks, and they are both wrong. But we only know it as the Emote.

Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.

So, today is sunday. Last week of work before the holiday.

I think I’ll refrain from describing my weekend. Its not worth the typing. Just some minor events, not biggies.

And just to prove something. Here’s a ticket of my beautiful tickets to Paramore and New Found Glory.

I’ve been writing a story recently. It was inspired by Ava. I commented on her shower by saying “Did the water swallow you?” And then I went on to talk about the sea swallowing someone and then you’d live in there.
Hehe. I haven’t got a name for it yet. But I keep deleting things and rewriting them.

So just to finish up. Here’s a little “lol quote”
“My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying “Can I have a new bike?”. He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

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It is banned from the town of Grimsby and some say, he blinks horizontally. We only know him as Emote.

Reaching as I sink down into light.

Today was one of those proverbial bad days.
It started off with a bad wake up. Kept sleeping until five minutes before the bus. Good it was on time. Then, it was time for work. My battery on my phone died so I had no entertainment and equally no way of contacting Freddie for our scheduled meet up of McDonalds eating. So I was let off early once more. Just shows how little kids there are there. So when I went to town, I waited 30 minutes for Freddie. He finally saw me at the bus stop. Then we ate. And to fear on the way back, the plastic bag broke. So I carried the foods by hand. It was fine until I got off the bus. Then 5 minutes into the walk. It all fell down. Again. And again. This moment was a proverbial scream fest. I yelled in Coxian style. I finally got home and looks like its all better now. I name this day, “The day of the breaking.”

Now after my daily description. I can move on to somethings. I don’t know what they will be at the time of the little line moving across my screen but I’m sure I can blog about something. Religion? Nah. Too risky. I’ll get all lost in my writing and end up berating all believers.

How about this? Would it scare you if I said I have imaginary friends? That I speak to them at times? Yes. I talk to myself. It helps me keep focused at times. I feel I can have a serious conversation with myself. It does scare me a little though. I can get really into it. I guess I still haven’t let go of that childhood thing. Must be the not having many friends thing. But I am who I am and who I was only really made me. See I told you I get really confusing when I write. I can speak of the devil and speak of the angels in one sentence and not make any sense at all. But when I read it, I am pure genius.

Heh. I guess I managed to write something, in a way, I feel that the blog helps me find myself through writing. It helps me explain somethings that I have done or things done to me.

I remember the times which shaped me into becoming who I probably am. Those include getting bullied for my like of the Spice Girls. Yes, I was jumped on the way home by two kids in the class over me. Organized bullying, how fun. I have never had a beat down though. It always stopped after a few punches. I believe it was more of verbal berating. It wears you down in the end. No matter how much you remember the mantra “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Its a simple fact, being called a homosexual for the better part of eighteen years takes a toll on you. Simple as. Yes, I have broken down over the matter. I have pent up feelings. But thats my way of dealing. I have been accusing of killing a cat, and to this day, I believe she still thinks so. Hm? Me killing a cat? No, I would never harm any animal such as a dog or a cat for that matter. Not intentionally at least.

Though the issue of homosexuality occurs from time to time in these days, it does not faze me much anymore. Through time, you know where you stand. I can clearly say, I have no attraction to the male gender. Thus, I may make jokes about it freely. That might of been why the bullying persisted as long as it did. But, its me.

So, now I stand before you as Chris. Worked through the ages, testing through tough and easy. I guess around now, throw me into life. I still have to learn but so do all newcomers to the great cycle.

I noticed I get really into blogging when I don’t have much to say. Yet, I believe I have made an interesting read. So I will see you later, faithful readers.

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The Emote loves The Stig.

All We Know Is Falling

Well, here goes. Today was a weird day.
It started off with some weird dreams about me living with Feffet in the future.
Yes, Feffet comes to the US. Then the bus was free. Amazing, once again, Kolumbus makes it impossible to earn profit for themselves. Heh.
Then work was fine except for the inevitable nut shots for the say. My testes are going to be destroyed. And the pain from working too much is gone. Now its more like, I am working. I have money. Now vacation!

Then on the way home, the urge for dance came up to me. I actually danced in the bus.
My mind was a little too strong for the reason in my soul. This was my day. A bog standard day.

Its one of the days that makes you think though. Especially with all the alone time.
What would happen if I was a girl. Cue random thoughts.

Yes. Those things are weird. I am weird in the normal/weird basis.

In other news, the weirdo now has two tickets for Paramore in the mail. Oh god. It is epic in every sense of the word. I cannot wait. I just need someone to take the second ticket now.

Otherwise, my birthday is coming up slowly. I still have no plan, per say, about it.
Its a toss up between partying in town or have my own little party with my music. :p
Some reggaeton, you know. And my dancing urge will fade. And so will my nagging feeling that my body wants to be scream and shout at someone like Gordon Ramsay.

These are the daily thoughts of Chris. I don’t really have the deep thoughtful troubled mindset. I do have my fair share of troubles in my past life. But who I was really ever made me. As weird as that sounds. The past makes you. It should not be dwelled on too long. Yes, I do bottle it up. I have had my share of bursts.
But I cannot stray away from saying “Ah. The cruelity of Childhood”
It becomes evident how today’s children are going to be a violent bunch and even how bullying will never die. Every weekday, I experience it. They throw things at eachother, they push eachother and even swear at such a delicate age. Look, I am not saying that your children are fucked. But they are not on the right path. Even though they are told not to, time and time again, they end up making someone else cry.

But, I do not have sufficient privileges to berate people’s children. Once I have passed my own name and history, I may shape the mind of the youth to how I wish.

Looks like I did have something to talk about after all. Look at it. It is magnificent!

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I feel so emote.

Rewind to the first time that I felt it coming.

Since I’m posting nearly everyday. I’d like to share a revelation with you.
It includes Freddie. I call it the “Freddie copies me theory”

Here are the facts.
-I loose my virginity. 1 month later Freddie looses it.
-I get a girlfriend. 1 month later Freddie gets one.
-I break up with my Girlfriend. 1 month later, guess what? Freddie breaks up.

Coincidence? I think not.

So I am calling you out Freddie. If you fuckin’ marry one month after me. I will go ballistic.
If you keep copying my life. I kill you.

:p

I just thought you’d like to know what has been going through my mind in the last few hours.

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She’s got me Emotestoned.

Here’s my hello, don’t say goodbye.

Hehe. Looks like failed in the daily post thing.
Maybe I should set some kind of alarm that goes off before the day is over.

And right now, I’d like to delve into my newest part in blog.

Music Reccomendations
Now you’re all expecting Paramore. But now, its Blake Lewis’ ADD (Audio Daydream) that has captured my imagination. This album is varied I’ll tell you that. It stretches from slow love songs to his upbeat beatboxing style a la Virtual Insanity kind of songs.
I’d also like to say that this album is far better than I’d expect from him. Especially since Jordin Sparks’ album was a complete flop in my mind. Blake seems to have found a winning formula here and in my mind he will always be the winner of American Idol.

Rating: 8.5/10


crush (x3) movie reviews

December Boys
8/10. A pretty good British movie here. Has a great original story to it. And Daniel Radcliffe shows he isn’t just Harry Potter.

Hitman
2/10. A terrible let down from a great game. There was one scene that did it justice. The rest was just action mumbo jumbo. I believe the last scenes were the climax for me honestly.

Hairspray
9/10. The return of the musical. No HSM was not a musical. A glorified music video, yes, but in no way a music. I loved it. The singing, the morals, the story, and even the acting. Why can’t movies be this way?

The Kingdom
8/10. A true representation of Arabia. I actually thought it was pretty well filmed, and of course, Jamie Foxx is a good actor. There I said it.

There now that’s that out of the way. I get to work shorter shifts. They noticed I was tired out so now I get to work 25 hours a week instead of 37 hours. Its because I used to not be able to do my bidding at regular hours, so I had to do it through the night. Anyway, I have set a post alarm now. So expect more from the NemiX.

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I GOTS A LVL 70 EMOTE!